One of my favorite posts I’ve ever written is Kassel’s birth story, and I knew I wanted to write one for Julian too. I want to remember all of the details of the day he joined us here on earth, so that I can look back and really be able to cherish the day he was born.

The day we found out I was pregnant again was actually the day Kassel turned 5 months old. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, and have been constantly battling pain, managing medications and diets, and working to find the right lifestyle that will bring me the most relief. RA often goes into remission during pregnancies, and I felt great (as far as my knees/joints go) during my pregnancy with Kassel. After giving birth to him, my RA flared up severely to the point that we thought I had a blood clot in my leg, which turned out to be a Baker’s cyst that will occasionally rear it’s ugly head. After giving birth to Kassel, I started taking medication again in the summer of 2021. Oftentimes, RA medicines takes several months to truly begin working. Flash forward to August: I realized my knees felt great. I was so excited! Until I realized that was much too quickly for the medicine to actually be working. We took a pregnancy test, and my suspicions were validated. We were pregnant again!

After a whirlwind of emotions (and me asking my mom to not freak out because I was already freaking out), we embraced this blessing and looked forward to meeting our second baby. We toyed around with various names for each gender, and finally landed on a few options for each. On the day of our 20-week anatomy scan, we were surprised to find out that Baby #2 was a boy. We both thought it was going to be a girl. On the car ride home, I felt the overwhelming feeling that this baby’s name was meant to be Julian. And so it was. Over the course of the next few days, we landed on two middle names: John and Douglas. A few years ago, our dear friend John, an instructor pilot in the Air Force, passed away in during a routine training gone horribly wrong. John’s death had a profound impact on our lives, and still does. When talking about names, Colin brought up John. We loved the way the two names sounded together instantly. But, we also felt like something was missing. We talked about family names, and decided to give Julian a second middle name, after my dad’s middle name. And thus, Julian John Douglas came about!

My birthing experience with Kassel was exhausting and traumatic. My anesthesiologist was, for lack of a better word, horrendous. I had the most awful experience, and carried a lot of residual trauma with me as we approached baby’s due date. My doctor and I decided that a second C-Section was the best option, as a VBAC so close after a first pregnancy would mean an increased risk for uterine rupture. I’ve never had strong feelings about delivery, so this was perfectly fine by me.

On April 11th, we arrived at the hospital at 7:00AM (Okay, it was actually closer to 7:15 AM, but that’s because we can never be anywhere on time lol). After checking in, we were taken to a small triage room where I was hooked up to the baby monitor that goes around my belly, and started on some fluids. After all of the paper work and monitoring, which took about an hour, the anesthesiologist came in. My doctor had already shared with him that I was feeling very anxious about getting the spinal, and I shared more details with him then. He was truly wonderful; he was reassuring and explained everything to me and how it would/should go. I was still anxious, but honestly feeling so much better after he validated my feelings and reassured me that everything would go smoothly.

Around 9:15/9:30, I walked back into the OR with my nurse. I was able to meet the entire team of physicians and nurses that would be performing my c-section. The room was cold, very bright, and pretty busy. Our lead nurse kept me calm and explained everything they were doing. Finally the anesthesiologist came in to give me the spinal. As I sat on the table, I started to feel a little bit panicky. My nurse must’ve been able to sense this, and she stayed right beside me and kept me calm. She was so encouraging and kept telling me that I could do it and that I was doing great. The anesthesiologist had absolutely no issues with the administration of my spinal, and for that I am SO grateful. 

After what felt like forever, Colin was finally able to join me in the OR. He said that waiting for those 20 minutes felt like the longest 20 minutes of his life. He too was anxious, as he was there for my failed epidural with Kassel. We were able to bring our own bluetooth speaker and play music from a playlist that we created together with songs we love/songs we wanted to play during Julian’s birth. One of the nurses assisting took my phone and took lots of photos for us, and I am so incredibly grateful for the pictures she took. They are some of my most cherished photos.

At 10:08 AM, we heard our sweet boy’s very first cries. The doctor lowered the drape so I could see our boy, who was smaller than expected, weighing in at 7 lbs, 2 oz! He is a little peanut compared to Kassel (who was 8 lbs, 9 oz), but hearing his cry filled me with such relief. I had made it through the surgery, and we were blessed with a perfectly healthy baby boy. 

So far, we are adjusting to life with two boys that are thirteen months apart, to the day. Kassel is so interested in Julian and very gentle when he goes to touch him. We cannot wait to witness the bond these two develop being so close in age. While we know the next few years will be chaos at times, we are leaning in to the madness and loving every single (sleepless) second.

Thanks for reading. Love y’all.